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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm struck by the fact that you're leading with your feelings about your wife's appearance, but what she seems to be going through sounds pretty serious. Do you think your main concern is her appearance, or her depression and [b]alcoholism[/b]?

As for her being on anti-depressants, 1, peoples' need for this type of intervention varies over time; 2, perimenopause can cause new needs (don't know if she's in that stage yet); 3, I think [b]you're not supposed to drink much on most SSRIs[/b], so something is being compromised. All of which is to say that anti-depressants might not be the solution in their current form. But your concern and care might help her with what she needs right now. [/quote]

Since nobody on this thread has said it directly yet: your wife has an alcohol use disorder and needs to get sober. You're not supposed to drink at all on SSRIs, and chronic use of non-prescribed meds is a great way to blow out your neurotransmitters. She'll probably need 6 months to a year to reset after getting completely dry. You can't blame the meds if you're constantly scrambling/pickling your brain with non-medicinal drugs. It's hard to get clean, but it's the only way to get better.

The clothing/hygeine is a symptom, not a root cause. Get rid of the booze, go for walks to help her brain chemistry level out, make sure she's getting good nutrition and sleep. It's trite advice because it's good advice and it works. It's hard af to give a fsck when you're constantly on a substance-use roller coaster. Everything seems hopeless; might as well just keep drinking/smoking/using. That cycle has to break in order for the other things to shift. There may need to be med adjustments too, but that's polishing the brass on the Titanic as long as she's still in her cups.

-btdt, several years sober now and it's SO much better (even though I didn't think it ever would be)

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