Reply to Why do people blame their siblings over parental favoritism? What is the appropriate response?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you read your post it’s very critical of your sibling, “perceived favoritism,” for example. You sound judgmental and a bit like you are gaslighting. I don’t know if that’s what you project to your sister, but if so, it’s not helping. It seems like you want to correct her not improve the relationship.

If you want to improve the relationship try listening, validating her emotions, and concentrating on her.[/quote]

Thank you!  I really appreciate this.  I'm not trying to blame anyone, but I realize that's how my post came across.  I just want to fix it and I don't know how.  Again I've heard a lot of this second hand from other relatives so I will try to ask her more questions myself and really listen and validate.  Hopefully that will help.  [/quote]

I wouldn't bring it up unless she does. It isn't your job to "fix it." You can't fix it. You also don't have to apologize for someone else's actions. [b]Your sister needs therapy.[/b] If a relative mentions it to you, just say, I love my sister. I wish our parents hadn't treated me differently. If your sister mentions it to you just listen. Tell her you love her and wish your parents had not shown favoritism. Tell her that you understand the damage it has caused and that you are consciously working toward not playing favorites with your own kids.[/quote]

+1.  OP, it wouldn't be a bad idea for you either.  There's baggage that comes from being in your situation even if you're not outwardly venting about it like she is.[/quote]

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