Reply to Sometimes I feel like I need to be a sports therapist for my dc, but I’m terrible at it

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[quote=Anonymous]There are situations where acting as a therapist is appropriate and situations where doing so just indulges unacceptable behavior. I don’t know your particular situation but I would strongly consider whether a response along the lines of the below might be more beneficial.

“This is a sport. It is intended to be fun. I understand that you are frustrated (or whatever) but your response is over the top and unacceptable. If you are going (get this upset, throw your glove, be a jerk to the family for the rest of the day, fixate on what you think your coach did wrong, etc.) it shows me that you are not able to handle (this sport, this level of competition, etc). You need to pull yourself together or (logical consequence: dropping sport, missing next game to reflect, removing self from situation until you have an handle on your attitude, etc).”

A kid on my son’s team was like this. Got very emotional at every little thing that didn’t go his way. Coach and kid’s dad decided the next time it happened he’d be pulled from the game. That happened twice and kid shaped up.

Similar to a kid with anxiety, if you counsel your kid on every little thing and react to their reactions you are likely inadvertently feeding the beast. If you make clear they are overreacting and you won’t tolerate it you are teaching that these perceived slights and frustrations aren’t all that.[/quote]

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