Reply to I don’t know how to talk to my husband about foreplay

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[quote=Anonymous]I get it. DH, who is the furthest thing from selfish in all other aspects of our life, is somewhat like this. I wish I could send him off to a three day “how to be a good lover” retreat. In his case, being somewhat prudish and uncomfortable talking about and experimenting with sex (thanks Catholic upbringing!) I think is a big contributor - as well as just not “getting” that some making out followed by penetration doesn’t work for  me the way it does him. I also feel like if he were more confident about knowing how to please a woman he’d be more willing to change his ways. And yes, I’ve tried to have those conversations over the years, but see above about not being comfortable talking about sex. He’ll try, and has gotten a bit better, but yeah…

It took me way too long but some time around 40 I basically decided that if he’s getting off, I better be too - every time - which, not to get too explicit, meant not being shy about showing him/helping him make good things happen for me - usually after he finished but I’ve also been more forthright that I’m not ready in the beginning. At least I can tell he’s trying - but I would also welcome suggestions from others on this topic. I feel like my sharing his somewhat prudish upbringing, and not having many previous partners, has made it harder for me than it should be to address this.[/quote]

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