Reply to Did anyone realize that they don't really like their parents all that much?

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[quote=Anonymous]My parents and I hadn't had a close relationship for some time. They were typical immigrant parents, vastly overreaching, turning every conversation into an opportunity to give advice, and trying to control my life, so I pulled way back.

I really missed having good parental relationships, though. You only get one mom and one dad. It would make me really sad to see other people hanging out regularly with their parents and enjoying doing it.

So, slowly, my parents and I worked on our issues. We had a lot of conversations and even did family therapy. They are really doing their best not to judge or give advice, and to meet me halfway when we have different preferences or perspectives.

The problem? I don't think I like them as people. Speaking to them and spending time with them often annoys me - not because they are doing something bad or toxic, but just because of who they are. For example, they talk a LOT, going into excruciating detail about topics that don't interest me. We don't have much in common - they are excited to share what they are reading/listening to/watching, but I am really not interested in any of those books or movies or music. Politically, we disagree (we both vote Democrat, but they just have really odd perspectives on stuff that are like "old people logic" and not critical thinking). They often forget things or make frustrating comments or jokes. On the flip side, they also aren't really interested in the topics that interest me.

I really really want to make these relationships work, especially as we've all put so much effort into it, and all three of us want this. But I can't ask them to change who they are. How do people navigate this? [/quote]

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