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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]It's genetic, OP. You need to parent the kid you have, not the one you wanted to have.[/b]

My oldest has severe inattentive ADHD and low processing speed. Even with meds, which greatly helped, it was very hard for him to focus and think through his homework within a reasonable timeframe. We twiddled at the margins with study skills, planner use, tutors for stuff he missed, but the reality is that he was born with a significant distractibility and slowness handicap. We had to sit next to him, redirect him, check if he'd missed any assignments, and issue reminders (ie, nag) all the live-long day. We tried to step back a bit for senior year, to prepare him for college. He's in college now and doing OK on his own, because he actually has a lighter workload than in high school. He takes the minimum credits every semester, and no double major.

My youngest has a high IQ, which compensates for mild inattentive ADHD, and also has a blessedly rapid processing time. She finishes her work in the blink of an eye and it's mostly correct, so she gets straight As without even trying.

Life is unfair.[/quote]

This is cope.

This attitude is the reason why America is going downhill. Where is the growth mindset? The grit? The positive attitude? And no, using your ADHD or mild disability as a handicap is NOT okay.

I have inattentive ADHD, and my parents (poor immigrants from a country where education is the most important thing) pushed me very hard in school. I'm a doctor now and am much more financially secure than when I was a kid. But if I had used my inattentive ADHD (which, BTW, was only diagnosed my final year of med school, so I didn't rely on BS accommodations like a crutch like so many self absorbed DCUMers) as an excuse to not be pre-med or go to med school, I would have given up on so much.

Seriously, parent the kid you want! If the kid you have is not academically motivated, you NEED to light a fire under their asses so they can get moving. That's what happened to all of our family friends in our neighborhood (poor immigrant enclave of Queens), and almost all of us are smashing successes now. [/quote]

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