Reply to if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person

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Reply to "if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person - what would you do in this situation"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Change the illness from mental health to say something like MS.  What would do if his illness physically prevented him from helping around the house or if he chose not to attend PT?[/quote]

It’s not. Too many people with mental illness are simply malingering.

OP, I would try to hire help until you are ready to leave. It doesn’t sound like you want to spend the rest of your life with this person and I wouldn’t either. [/quote]

When would you leave (I know thats kind of an impossible question to answer with so little information).  I know in general divorce is better when kids are young - but I can't imagine leaving a 3 and 5 year old alone with him especially overnight when he has absolutely no patience.  They may or may not be well cared for (depending on his mental state) and wouldn't be able to understand any sort of conversation about his mental health causing some behaviors versus it being their fault (like when he has mumbled things loud enough for them to hear that "this f-ing family is a miserable hell hole").  I do believe he WANTS to be a loving dad (versus just a raging a-hole) but is unable to be with his combo of mental illnesses and unwilling to do the work to get them under control enough that he can manage stressful situations with them.

As long as we are married, he's basically never alone with them. When I go out, I hire a sitter which i think he feels some shame about but doesn't fight. He can join in for pleasant moments and check out of the rest.  The kids do love him and have fun with him but don't depend on him in any way. [/quote]

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