Reply to if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Change the illness from mental health to say something like MS.  What would do if his illness physically prevented him from helping around the house or if he chose not to attend PT?[/quote]

NP and not an apt description.  A lot of what she is describing is being rude and thoughtless.  People with chronic illnesses are not automatically rude and thoughtless.

OP, I hate to say it, but it sounds like your DH is only nominally in your kids lives now.  You should get out.

I'm very sorry that you have no good options here.  Virtual hug to you.[/quote]

If i knew he could/ would be a positive co-parent for whatever custody he got, I would.  I'm so jealous of people that can share custody and know their kids are safe and being treated lovingly even if its not exactly how you'd parent.  I think the most likely answer is if he was given a story to protect his ego, he'd want something like sat afternoons with the kids and they'd watch sports and eat mcdonalds and cool that's great, i'd love that.  But I could also see him wanting more custody to either spite me for divorcing or protect his ego and then doing things like screaming at the kids when they're sick during the night and they're interrupting his sleep or dumping them on his parents most of the time (which would be negative for a lot of reasons) OR feeling so much shame about it all he basically never sees them again. Also for now most all parenting decisions are 100% mine - such as what to do about adhd.  If we weren't technically on the same team anymore i can see every decision becoming a hugely emotional battle with him digging into un-thought out stances.  Again I don't want every decision to be 100% mine - I want a partner to talk through things logically with and get to the best answer - but that's not the partner i have[/quote]

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