Reply to if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person

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Reply to "if you're a "no divorce expect with abuse / cheating" person - what would you do in this situation"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How much do you guys make?  My DH is helpful but very busy with work (and it's usually from home, so I know it's actual work).  I hire out a lot of help, from chef-prepared weekly meals that I have to heat up to grocery delivery, to all of the house cleaning and laundry other than DH and my laundry, and I have an after-school nanny/driver who helps me juggle shuttling the kids to their activities and with other small household tasks.  It's still a lot of work to manage the help on top of a job, and I'm still the default parent if someone gets sick, but it's better than the situation you describe.  And at least your DH makes more than you - that should help with some of your resentment.    [/quote]

We do hire out a lot and it definitely helps - my rage would be through the roof if not.  But I only want to co-parent with a nanny so much, its not just the physical labor - its that any parent time the kids get has to come from me while he plays video games or watches football for hours on the weekends, that his unable or unwilling to talk through what to do about our kids adhd diagnosis and unwilling to participate in a parenting class to learn strategies to manage it because he's so "overwhelmed", that I have no dependable back-up partner if I'm feeling really sick one day and just need someone else to do bedtime etc.   I think the core of it is that I feel like I'm raising our kids entirely on my own without a dependable partner for any aspect of it other than paying the bills....which is a real and important thing but not the only thing kids need.  And also that he hides behind mental health as an excuse when he does things like leave wet towels on my side of the bed or dirty laundry all over our bedroom which is also my office!  (he has his own office in our house...i cant imagine what he'd do if i walked into it and left my trash and laundry around it)[/quote]

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