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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom had an emergency surgery more than a month ago and since, has had complications, nearly died twice but survived. She’s now in a rehab facility but not doing great. She’s hasn’t walked yet and PT is a struggle. She’s 85 and was in ok health before all this, but lived a very sedentary lifestyle.

Mom’s house is incredibly cluttered and needs cleaning out. She has been resistant for years to us throwing out virtually anything.

So far, all the siblings have been on the same page related to mom’s care, etc but now one of us wants to clean everything out and have an estate sale. I’m not there yet. Mom probably isn’t coming home again but she would be furious if she knew we brought strangers in to go through all her stuff. Cleaning out, yes, let’s toss the junk. But the rest of it? Childhood toys, purses and shoes and a lifetime of papers and dishes and collectibles from travel? I’m just having a hard time with it emotionally. I guess bc I know if she finds out or questions me about it, I don’t want to lie and I know she will be upset if she knows we are just tossing her things.

Even my DH is pressuring me to start dumping everything in her house. I’m even worried about how it might affect her grandchildren, who don’t even have a clear picture why their grandma hasn’t come home yet…
I’m struggling and not sure what to do….

[/quote]

I understand why your siblings [i]feel [/i] like there is a need to rush here - it's something everyone has wanted her to do for a long time, everyone knows they are going to have to handle it at some point, etc., but honestly, there is no real rush.

It seems very unlikely that your mother will come and live back in her home. Everyone needs to slow down and deal with that reality first. The stuff isn't going anywhere and whether it's handled now or in the New Year isn't going to make much of a difference - does anyone even have time right now? I'd agree with them that the cleanout will need to happen, but that you all need to concentrate on what's next for your mother first.[/quote]

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