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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]No, it's not normal. It happens, but it's not healthy for anyone. Your husband and yourself need to sit her down and tell her to stop it; that she is making you physically ill with stress; that you have done your best as parents, and if there's anything she feels was lacking in childhood, you regret it, but that you will not be treated in this disrespectful way. Ask whether college is too stressful for her, and tell her you are always available to help her because you love her, but reiterate that lashing out will impede that process... because it makes you unwell and it's rude.

I have a 19 year old home from college. He has ADHD and autism, so being his parent has never been a walk in the park, but he has never lashed out or been intentionally disrespectful. 
On that note, does your child have any diagnoses, and if not, should she be evaluated?

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We have had this conversation with her in the past. She complains that she is miserable at home. She was fine and a perfect child till middle school . I think the mistake that we made was we gave her an iphone with no parental controls. Also she went to a high stress high school. She has loud violent outbursts. Blames me for everything. Nothing I can ever do is right and all that I do for her has no meaning. She does have a lot of anxiety. She also forces her self into our vacations, we give her an option of not going as she says how miserable she is with us , but she comes and vacations become hell. She claims that she is miserable at home and was talking about going back a day after she came but ofcourse is still here. She is very jealous of one of her siblings as he is special needs. She being first born had most of my time and attention. I feel so hopeless and failure as a parent.[/quote]

Lots of kids feel this but not all kids say this. Ask her what she hopes to gain by spewing all over everything. Remind her that she’s an adult and one of the great things about being adult is getting to control your life. Ask her how she plans to use that power. When she can’t respond, tell her to think it over because it will be good for her to have a better plan than dumping her feelings all over everyone else.

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