Anonymous wrote:Is this the first time she’s come home from college? Maybe she’s dealing with some adjustments.

What are the kinds of things she says you didn’t do for her!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, it's not normal. It happens, but it's not healthy for anyone. Your husband and yourself need to sit her down and tell her to stop it; that she is making you physically ill with stress; that you have done your best as parents, and if there's anything she feels was lacking in childhood, you regret it, but that you will not be treated in this disrespectful way. Ask whether college is too stressful for her, and tell her you are always available to help her because you love her, but reiterate that lashing out will impede that process... because it makes you unwell and it's rude.

I have a 19 year old home from college. He has ADHD and autism, so being his parent has never been a walk in the park, but he has never lashed out or been intentionally disrespectful.
On that note, does your child have any diagnoses, and if not, should she be evaluated?

We have had this conversation with her in the past. She complains that she is miserable at home. She was fine and a perfect child till middle school . I think the mistake that we made was we gave her an iphone with no parental controls. Also she went to a high stress high school. She has loud violent outbursts. Blames me for everything. Nothing I can ever do is right and all that I do for her has no meaning. She does have a lot of anxiety. She also forces her self into our vacations, we give her an option of not going as she says how miserable she is with us , but she comes and vacations become hell. She claims that she is miserable at home and was talking about going back a day after she came but ofcourse is still here. She is very jealous of one of her siblings as he is special needs. She being first born had most of my time and attention. I feel so hopeless and failure as a parent.

Anonymous wrote:What does her father say about her behaviour? How does he react when she yells at you or other kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she doesn’t like being around you, then suggest she set out on her own and live somewhere else. She’s an adult.

We would be very happy if she takes that suggestion. She however keeps coming back and makes our life hell. We have offered paying for a separate housing when she comes over for summer internship that is closer to her internship but she still prefers staying home. She has a big room with her own bathroom and gets home made food and does not do any chores. She does not even pick up her plates after eating and often leaves milk etc outside to rot. I am fine with all this the worst thing is the fights and yelling she does. I have a special needs son who will be doing some summer courses online he is in high school, she hates him. I am already dreading how all this will play out.

Anonymous wrote:If she doesn’t like being around you, then suggest she set out on her own and live somewhere else. She’s an adult.

Anonymous wrote:Is she not related to your other kids? Maybe she feels like you doted on them and she got the shaft.

Anonymous wrote:No, it's not normal. It happens, but it's not healthy for anyone. Your husband and yourself need to sit her down and tell her to stop it; that she is making you physically ill with stress; that you have done your best as parents, and if there's anything she feels was lacking in childhood, you regret it, but that you will not be treated in this disrespectful way. Ask whether college is too stressful for her, and tell her you are always available to help her because you love her, but reiterate that lashing out will impede that process... because it makes you unwell and it's rude.

I have a 19 year old home from college. He has ADHD and autism, so being his parent has never been a walk in the park, but he has never lashed out or been intentionally disrespectful.
On that note, does your child have any diagnoses, and if not, should she be evaluated?