Reply to Hung up on the idea that toxic STBX husband will be the perfect husband for some 25 year old girl

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Reply to "Hung up on the idea that toxic STBX husband will be the perfect husband for some 25 year old girl"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You will and he will be some kid’s problem. It won’t be better with her. I promise you that life will be better than you ever imagined. You will not only be ok, you will thrive. [/quote]

But adding: OP, any time a person feels "hung up on the idea that...," whatever the "that" may be, it's time to get outside help. If you are not already seeing a therapist, find one, pronto. Be aware that it can take time to find the right one who clicks with you. But you need to work through the fixation on him and your grieving for the marriage and children you have not had with him. By the way, going to therapy is not, not, not about being "weak" or needing to be "fixed." It is about having an outside, objective perspective to help you see yourself more objectively, and move away from toxic people. It's a position of strength, with the rigiht therapist. So don't let him or anyone else talk you out of it. Or talk you out of divorcing.

I'm a bit concerned though that your title says "STBX" yet you refer to "clinging on" and don't mention divorce in the post itself. I hope you are getting out as quickly as you can. And please, OP, get out NOT because you want to run as fast as possible into having a child however, with whomever, but get out because you want to be your true self, unfettered by attachment to this self-centered man. A child may or may not happen, but you will always have to live with yourself, and it sounds like you need to figure out who that is, separate from being His Wife. [/quote]

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