Reply to Romance Vs Ribbing

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Reply to "Romance Vs Ribbing"

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[quote=Anonymous]
OP, take your middle paragraph from your post and use it as a script to tell him those exact things, in those exact words.

He needs to understand that he does not get to decide 100 percent what the communication style between you is. You have as much say in how you as a couple communicate as he does. He also is likely to double down becuase "that's just how my family talks to each other" but you and he are not "his family" -- you are a different entity as a couple. Explain that you understand his family ribs each other, and you like some joking, but constant ribbing is not working for you, with him. You feel, frankly, unloved. Right?

If he goes into "You're too uptight," "You need to get a sense of humor," "You're overreacting," "You're too sensitive," "Learn to take a joke" -- or any variations on those--that is a bad sign. Those are all the things people say to justify and explain away their own inability to communicate in any direct emotional way. Call him out if he says these types of things. It is NOT "too sensitive" or "overly emotional" or "humorless" to say, I tell you I love you and I tell you why, but you do not reciprocate, and I feel like the butt of the joke, not someone you care about.

Ribbing and poking fun is fine but not if either person in a couple doesn't want it. Period. And "my family is like this" is no excuse. You're not his sister, cousin or mom, you're his girlfriend. [/quote]

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