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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]TLDR- difficult sister makes my parents’ life difficult and it seems there’s nothing I can do.

I’m very close to my parents. We live nearby them and we both help each other often. I don’t rely on them for childcare or need their help. I cook dinner for my parents weekly, we help them extensively with their home improvement projects, get them tickets to all kid activities and include them anytime they’d like. My mom and I really get along well and like crafting and shopping together.

I was the older child and I had an incredibly difficult little sister. She was prettier and smarter than me, demanding, argumentative and can be vicious. My parents and I walk on eggshells around her. I don’t engage and generally just smile and say hi. The most benign conversations with her turn into her screaming or hitting me, so I don’t try. I have a lot of anxiety about this and grew up to be a people pleaser, which I hate. Looking back over my childhood, everyone just loved my sister and they still talk about her.

The thing that bothers me is that when she is around, my parents drop me instantly. At holiday dinners (which I host!) my parents will suck up to her and spend the entire night trying to be nice to her. I feel like the Little Red Hen doing all the daily work and then she sweeps in and gets holiday attention. Occasionally she comes on vacations and the entire vacation becomes her wants and needs. Everyone, including my very young children, better go along with it. She has no patience with kids even though mine are pretty well behaved (like she brought my toddler a juice and he started whining he wanted the other juice. So she poured it out in front of him and walked away)

I know in my mind that my parents are just trying to have a good relationship with her. I have backed out of plans that I know she’s attending, but my parents are very hurt by that too. And I’m just over here trying to manage everyone’s emotions and wishing everyone got along.

If anyone has some insight, I’d love to hear it. My life is so wonderful otherwise. Should I just cut her out of my life? Should I just suck it up? Should I just have a screaming match with her to clear the air? No choice is great. [/quote]
Why would you start your post with tldr? Do you not know what that means?[/quote]

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