Reply to My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z

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Reply to "My husband gas lights non stop. Anytime I try to discuss something that bothers me, he denies he did X Y Z"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Defensiveness and lying is not gaslighting [/quote]

They go hand in hand.  From the first pop psychology book that talks about gaslighting “Men who hate women and the women who love them:”

“In tandem with the gaslighting techniques is the misogynist's contention that if he's behaving badly, it is only because he is responding to some crime of yours. Such men sincerely and convincingly argue that their outrageous behavior is an understandable reaction to some terrible deficiency or provocation on your part. By doing this, the misogynist avoids having to consider the possibility that he has some serious shortcomings. By shifting the blame to you, he protects himself in two important ways: he absolves himself of the discomfort of recognizing his role in the problem, and he convinces you that your character deficiencies are the real reason why you are having trouble together. Any criticism or questioning of him is immediately turned back on you as further proof of your inadequacies.“

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