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[quote=Anonymous]My kids both have ADHD and are very stubborn, not inclined to do something just because I think they should or it would look for a college resume. I had to learn early on that I could suggest things but pushing them to do things that they weren't really engaged by was not going to go well. Neither did a lot of things in ES -- light commitment rec sport (1 practice/1 game a week), girl/boy scouts, school band. Weekends were mainly for family and we prioritized them playing with friends.

Both are now in college.

DS's did rec soccer through MS because it was fun to do with his friends. In HS, occasionally worked on theater stage crew. No other school activities. Took guitar lessons and played occasionally at our church because a family friend asked him to help. Volunteered with the family once a month. Had summer jobs as soon as he was old enough to do so. After EF support and tutoring early in HS he turned in a great student. Was not applying to super selective schools, only really wanted Virginia Tech and got in there. Now a senior with a high GPA, a job waiting after graduation, works as a TA, has a good friend group, plays on a couple rec sports teams. Other than the rec teams, which were initiated by a friend, he's still not involved in campus clubs or organizations. He's just not a joiner.

DD was busier than DS in MS-HS but also very introverted and needs her downtime. Main activity was band + weekly private lessons on her instrument. Did one low-involvement school club because her friends started it. Summers she went to a nature-focused camp and then worked there as a counselor in HS. Struggled more in HS with her ADHD, finishing with a B+ avg. She wanted a small, quiet, rural school that was far from the loud super-competitive HS she went to. Goes to a mid-range LAC with a great environmental science program. Plays in the band and is active in a outdoors club, has a some good friends, still spends a lot of quiet down time on art and creative writing. Had a job in her field last summer with a college alumni connection.

They are both happy, well-adjusted, good workers and at good colleges for their personalities and life goals (and our budget). I did worry, living in a very competitive community, about them not doing as much as other kids but also just accepted them as they are. In being prepared for college the academic part really is most important and we prioritized tutoring/EF support for both of them. And, I think jobs for teens are really valuable in building confidence and feeling like you matter somewhere. [/quote]

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