Reply to Anyone with a teen ds who insisted he was straight but came out later?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yep.

He is now a sophomore in college. All growing up we always said stuff like "whoever you date" or the "your future partner" or whatever. Never assumed one way or the other. In HS he had a long term girlfriend. Said he loved her.  Great.  End of Senior year they broke up and he started dating a boy. Great.  They broke up during his freshman year in college, but he said the next person he dates will probably be male. Great.

He never insisted he was straight because we never asked so he didn't need to assert anything. We just assumed that for most people sexuality is fluid and as long as he was in healthy relationships we didn't care who his partner was.

- lesbian mom whose parents assumed I was straight and really pressured me to date boys, so I insisted I was straight until I was in my early 20s and finally came out. Been married to my wife for 25y. [/quote]

This is interesting. Dh and I have always said things like ‘whoever you date’ or ‘your future partner’ etc and that’s where the reaction and insistence comes up. FWIW we used similar language with another dc and did not receive any reactions. Most of our friend and family group is hetero, and DC hangs with a jock crew, so I worry that dc may feel the need overcompensate. But I don’t know. I just want him to be happy of course. [/quote]

To be fair most parents who use language like that are overdoing it - either as a subtly prying attempt to ask about their kids’ sexuality, or as an effort to showcase how “chill” they are - and that’s obvious to teens. [/quote]

Op. I don’t totally disagree but what the heck are we supposed to do or say?  We used similar language with both dc fwiw. But yeah, teen dc picks up on it right away obviously. Interestingly it was he who talked about it more when he was young, asking questions about whether we’d still love him if X, etc. [/quote]

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