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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DD is 12 and has always struggled with emotional regulation. We’ve generally worked on some decent strategies in life but the one situation I  haven’t figured out is post game disappointment. There’s lots of drama the ride home (we’re horrible, I did the worst ever, I never get better, …). She could’ve scored the winning goal and it won’t matter, she rarely comes off the field without being extremely self critical or critical about the teams performance.

I’ve come to understand it’s a lot of venting so I just keep my mouth shut and listen. But are there better strategies to help her before she gets to this point? Do some people just need a cool down period? [/quote]

+1 My youngest DD was also like this. It was not fun, especially on long car rides after travel soccer games. She plays so intensely during games, and puts her all into it, so sometimes I think it was an adrenaline release. I just listened and let her vent, then let her sit in silence and calm herself down. She is ultra-competitive. It has gotten much better over the years, and she is much more analytical about her and the team's performance rather than critical now, but it was probably at its peak around 12-13. She is still very competitive, works really hard at the sports she is involved in (trains on her own in addition to practices), and and has strong opinions about coaching techniques (practicing, formations, etc). [/quote]

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