Reply to Feel free to stop caring for your elderly parent after ten years.

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Feel free to stop caring for your elderly parent after ten years."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents began manipulating us and demanding that we visit all the time because of health concerns when they were the age that I am now! My husband and ai were 29 or approximately the age that my kids and their DHs are now. I cannot imagine being so pathologically narcissistic as to use fake health scares at my current age that I demand frequent visits and doing so for the next thirty years![/quote]

I can relate to this-more so with MIL, but my own mother started major manipulations later. I will say by the 10 year mark with both, we were just so burned out. Our boundaries got stronger and stronger. You learn to make sure they have decent care and realize sometimes that care is better with strangers. When people use abuse tactics (insults, tantrums, screaming, manipulation, threats, guilt-trips) you try to take the high road, but we found we reached a saturation point, where there was too much risk of us yelling right back and telling them off. It's easier to manage things from an arms length. In my mother's case she used money as a way to try to have power. I had no idea just how wealthy my parents had been so it actually gave me peace to know there was plenty of money to get her the best care possible from people trained to deal with extremely difficult behavior. While she was worse for me than anyone else and could showboat, once I stepped back, she was showing her dark side to others. We were fortunate she had enough money that we could give tips and bonuses to people willing to work around that.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics