It took you ten years to figure this out? Wow.

Chronic mental illness,hysteria and fake drama has been "killing" my MIL for 2 decades.

Anonymous wrote:May your children toss you aside in your time of need, as you are modeling for them.

np A lot of the times parents in the 'olden' days weren't there for the kids either

Anonymous wrote:My parents began manipulating us and demanding that we visit all the time because of health concerns when they were the age that I am now! My husband and ai were 29 or approximately the age that my kids and their DHs are now. I cannot imagine being so pathologically narcissistic as to use fake health scares at my current age that I demand frequent visits and doing so for the next thirty years!

I can relate to this-more so with MIL, but my own mother started major manipulations later. I will say by the 10 year mark with both, we were just so burned out. Our boundaries got stronger and stronger. You learn to make sure they have decent care and realize sometimes that care is better with strangers. When people use abuse tactics (insults, tantrums, screaming, manipulation, threats, guilt-trips) you try to take the high road, but we found we reached a saturation point, where there was too much risk of us yelling right back and telling them off. It's easier to manage things from an arms length. In my mother's case she used money as a way to try to have power. I had no idea just how wealthy my parents had been so it actually gave me peace to know there was plenty of money to get her the best care possible from people trained to deal with extremely difficult behavior. While she was worse for me than anyone else and could showboat, once I stepped back, she was showing her dark side to others. We were fortunate she had enough money that we could give tips and bonuses to people willing to work around that.

My parents began manipulating us and demanding that we visit all the time because of health concerns when they were the age that I am now! My husband and ai were 29 or approximately the age that my kids and their DHs are now. I cannot imagine being so pathologically narcissistic as to use fake health scares at my current age that I demand frequent visits and doing so for the next thirty years!

Um, no, I will not be doing that, OP.

May your children toss you aside in your time of need, as you are modeling for them.

I guess that depends on how you view chronic, progressive, potentially debilitating illnesses OP.

My dad has been dying for 20 years. I feel your pain OP.

My mom has dementia. It’s the longest death ever. I’ll be lucky to have her succumb within ten years of diagnosis. She’s absolutely not faking.

Aren’t the elderly retired anyway? And what’s wrong with you?

Anonymous wrote:If they’re still alive at that point, they’ve feigning sickness so that don’t have to work. Nobody is “dying” for ten years.

Yeah, you can be sick for 20 years. So, what are you, some kind of family hospice provider- unless they are dying no one deserves help? If you alone start now, it's actually possible for you to be "sick" for 40 or 50 years- but tell your family that you are only expecting help for maybe 10 years,ok?

I pray you don’t have children

Troll

If they’re still alive at that point, they’ve feigning sickness so that don’t have to work. Nobody is “dying” for ten years.