Reply to How do you help your parents' significant others feel like part of the family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First of all you have to figure out whether you want a family-like relationship with this person. It's so important to be careful and cautious that they aren't mooching, mistreating your parent, or bringing bad things like addiction or abuse into their lives. Also consider whether you want to be providing eldercare for this person, or whether you're already maxed out with your existing obligations.[/quote]
So your answer to the original question is 'I don't.'?[/quote]

Well yeah. I mean, just be cautious. You don't necessarily want to give the impression of considering them to be a relative, if that's not realistic. I've been very clear with my mom that I don't consider her partner to be my responsibility at all, since he has two adult sons, and it's important for her to know that as they make life plans. I think older adults want everyone to like their partner, of course, but they sometimes have an overly optimistic expectation for how much actual caregiving is reasonable to expect of adult stepchildren. It's better for everyone if it's clear.[/quote]

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