Reply to How do you help your parents' significant others feel like part of the family?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First of all you have to figure out whether you want a family-like relationship with this person. It's so important to be careful and cautious that they aren't mooching, mistreating your parent, or bringing bad things like addiction or abuse into their lives. Also consider whether you want to be providing eldercare for this person, or whether you're already maxed out with your existing obligations.[/quote]
So your answer to the original question is 'I don't.'?[/quote]

With my mom's partner, no, I really don't. I would like her to be happy with someone who is good for her. She claims she is happy but she is not and this guy brings SO many problems, and they keep breaking up and getting back together, so I just disengage from the whole mess.

With my dad's wife, I am nice to her and spend time chatting. But I do have my limits, for example she would really prefer me never to mention either of my dad's prior marriages (they both live in the same town as she and my dad) and basically the entire decades of the 80s and 90s are off limits because they "make her feel left out". She doesn't really want to be married to a man with children, even adult children, she would rather pretend that her son is the only child and that there is no history. But when you're the third wife in a small town you don't really have that luxury.[/quote]

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