Reply to Ten-year-old boys -- mind blown

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[quote=Anonymous]I am trying to approach this with a spirit of curiosity and compassion, instead of "what the bleep?" that I am feeling: Has anyone else experienced boys in the 4th grade age range to push and push and push the limits and show very little home training (clearing their dish, eg)? My son is a work in progress, to be sure, and I know his ADHD can make him fixate on something he wants and show little home training even IN his home. And I know like can attract like, so for all I know, even the friends whose situations I don't know may have ADHD, along with the 1 or 2 I do know about. But here's what I have been on the receiving end of in the last month:

-Birthday party where the 3 dinner guests brought their Nerf guns to the dinner table, and it took me many very firm directions to get them to put the guns in another room
-guest who persisted in asking, even after he and my kid had had an hour of screentime together, whether they could go back to playing -- while eating lunch, while waiting for me to wash dishes before taking them to the pool, and then wanting to bring the iPad to an activity for the 15 minutes of down-time at that activity. (B that time, I had learned to separate them from their iPads.) He literally must have asked me 20 times, even when I was very clear that there would be no more screentime. 
-friend who consistently takes gum from our drawers without asking and leaves his wrappers (yes, plural in one visit) everywhere (I'm pretty sure my kids ask before taking food from someone's kitchen. And he's 10!)

And no one seems to even ask whether they should bring their dishes to the sink, to put back a toy, etc. It's like they're used to having everything served to them with zero expectation that they contribute.

I know most of my son's friends' parents, and I would say they have similar values. But are they just not expecting that much from their kids--like Oh, he's a boy, I can't expect him to do this so I won't insist? Is screentime such a normal longing that parents have given in and are letting their kids play without limits and take their devices everywhere? I recognize that I can have high expectations, but I also don't think it's abnormal to think a kid should get the message that There Will Be No More Screentime Today, and I Am Getting Testy, So Drop It!

I truly am curious if people have noticed an increase in this type of behavior, especially from boys. Teachers, hoping to hear your thoughts. Oh yeah, maybe this is part of the reason so many teachers are saying they've had it. I wouldn't blame you! 
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