Reply to Teacher only writes “elite” students college recommendations

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If my child could not obtain recommendations for college I would contact the principal, the superintendent, and the school board. This is a basic duty and the idea that teachers can pick and choose has civil rights implications.[/quote]

See, the thing is that the teacher is doing you a favor in declining to write a rec if they can’t write a good one.  These are anonymous, and the teacher could very well write a negative one to avoid confrontations with parents like you when they try to politely decline.  The sensible thing is to stick with teachers who you know can write a positive rec, not try to bully any teacher into writing one.  You don’t want a letter of rec from a teacher who doesn’t think they can provide a glowing one.[/quote]

For sure, and I appreciate the amount of work and thought teachers are clearly putting into these! It is clearly a labor of love.

I’m a DP, and it is also discouraging for me to hear how hard it must be for kids who have made mistakes to get recommendation letters. The letters are a key required component of applications, and it sounds like they may be challenging for many students to get. I have a kid with Bs and Cs, was once the class clown, and I am sure has used his phone in class. He’s grown a lot in the past couple years, but he’s got a way to go. He is also earnest, kind, and participates enthusiastically in discussion, so he does have teachers who know him and have offered to write his letters. But he could be the same kid and also shy and cranky and not have anyone who’d do that for him, and that seems unfair. Not criticizing teachers a bit - just observing that this phase of life is hard for kids who mature late, or who aren’t high achievers.[/quote]

Well, I can assure you that none of the teenagers are perfect.  None of them. They all have their moments and all have done crazy things.

But part of what guidance counselors will talk to them about is thinking carefully about who to ask to write a letter of rec.  I decline anyone for whom I can’t write something helpful, but I definitely have colleagues who have no problem writing and submitting a negative letter of rec.  I think it is unethical to do that, but then again, I’ve seen colleagues do that after respectfully declining to write one, only for the parent to complain.  It’s like choosing references for a job: you want a supervisor who knows you well and will say good things about you, right?  High school kids have multiple people to consider and ask.  And the guidance counselor will write one as well.  I am sure your son has some teachers who will be happy to write a letter for him.

One of the students for whom I am writing a letter of rec had a D in my class in 10th grade.  The next year, he was a different person.  Kids change.  We all understand that.[/quote]

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