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[quote=Anonymous]Sounds a lot like what we went through at age 9. Hang in there! It can get better.

In-person therapy is probably best. Virtual was a disaster for us, but in-person with the right person was helpful. It's good to combine with some parent sessions, and that can be virtual.

Our kid was diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and anxiety. It's still hard to know what is in the driver's seat at any moment, but the inflexibility and the emotional regulation challenges were helpful for us to see through a diagnosis. DBT-C was also recommended to us as a person above noted, but we had a very hard time finding it for a kid younger than a teen. You might have better luck. It sounds useful.

What is the camp like? Is there a lack of structure? If he does better at school, it could be useful to try to find an alternative camp (unlikely to be possible, I know) and/or talk with the organizers about accomodations. He may need more structure or clearer rules or better previewing of what's coming next. There might also be some conflict you don't know about going on with other kids that is leading to him being stressed.

He is probably holding it together in public and losing it at home as a safe space. The more you can try to build the relationship and use incentives and benefits rather than punishments, the better. Of course, discipline is required, but you may need to tread carefully first to get him to a better place.

I would mention the part about wanting to die to your ped and make sure the therapist knows. Depression could be involved, too. Good luck![/quote]

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