Anonymous wrote:Sending you hugs. This is a tough road.

DBT for Children (mostly focused on parents) would be ideal. Try calling Britt Rathbone at Capital Youth Services in Bethesda/Rockville.

Thank you

Sounds a lot like what we went through at age 9. Hang in there! It can get better.

In-person therapy is probably best. Virtual was a disaster for us, but in-person with the right person was helpful. It's good to combine with some parent sessions, and that can be virtual.

Our kid was diagnosed with autism, ADHD, and anxiety. It's still hard to know what is in the driver's seat at any moment, but the inflexibility and the emotional regulation challenges were helpful for us to see through a diagnosis. DBT-C was also recommended to us as a person above noted, but we had a very hard time finding it for a kid younger than a teen. You might have better luck. It sounds useful.

What is the camp like? Is there a lack of structure? If he does better at school, it could be useful to try to find an alternative camp (unlikely to be possible, I know) and/or talk with the organizers about accomodations. He may need more structure or clearer rules or better previewing of what's coming next. There might also be some conflict you don't know about going on with other kids that is leading to him being stressed.

He is probably holding it together in public and losing it at home as a safe space. The more you can try to build the relationship and use incentives and benefits rather than punishments, the better. Of course, discipline is required, but you may need to tread carefully first to get him to a better place.

I would mention the part about wanting to die to your ped and make sure the therapist knows. Depression could be involved, too. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:What are you feeding him?

He has a very limited palette and is a
Picky eater. He won’t eat lunch at camp because it won’t stay hot. So he’s starving and cranky by the time he gets home.

Start with a child psychiatrist or a developmemtal pediatrician. They can prescribe meds.

we too saw a therapist for our DC (different issues) and they were adamant they would not see a kid unless they were 8 years or older for therapy - and even then that could be too young.

also sign up for dr. shapiro's class!

I’d start with a pediatrician visit to rule out medical concerns, then a behavioral eval to help determine function and maintaining variables. Psychiatrist and parent training and a neurologist and a nutritionist and language evals and social skills evals might be worth considering too. Get scheduled for a neuropsych too.

Anonymous wrote:Is the therapy parent training? That’s what is really needed.

+1 virtual therapy is not good for most 7 year olds especially those with ADHD. Ask me how I know!!

Also, please continue to look into a fuller evaluation but call your pediatrician tomorrow about a preliminary ADHD evaluation. They can start meds if it’s a relatively clear cut case (who it might not be!)

Also, stop things that aren’t helping.

And give yourself a break about the different behaviors at school. My kid with ADHD holds it together at school and I get the brunt of things.

Try and find lots of ways to reconnect. Is there something that he loves to do with one parent? This weekend do that for a couple hours just 1:1. It’s definitely not going to solve everything but it really does help in my experience.

I'd suggest consulting with a psychiatrist. Even before you have a clear cut diagnosis (which a psychiatrist could help with), they might identify specific symptoms that could benefit from medication (e.g., anxiety, mood issues).

Is the therapy parent training? That’s what is really needed.

Sending you hugs. This is a tough road.

DBT for Children (mostly focused on parents) would be ideal. Try calling Britt Rathbone at Capital Youth Services in Bethesda/Rockville.

What do you mean by triggered?

What does he get frustrated with?

What do you mean by discipline?

What do you mean by set him off?

What are you feeding him?

This is out of my league and is getting worse.

Here are his symptoms:

-Anger/aggression - especially towards his sister (roughly the same age), but now towards other kids. He pushes, shoves, and sometimes punches when he's triggered.

-Easily frustrated. It really doesn't take much. It feels like we're walking on egg shells and is exhausting. The slightest correction or discipline will set him off.

-Saying he wants to die. This is at least weekly now and is almost always followed by being disciplined.

-Throwing things. Whenever he's angry, he throws his glasses and his shoes.

Here's what we're doing:

-Virtual therapy (more so for me and my husband).

-Psych Eval - if I can find someone and afford it, I'll get this done.

-Reading The Explosive Child

Oddly enough, he holds it together in school and is an exceptional student who receives praise from his teachers. I don't understand why he falls apart at home and camp. He also had similar issues last summer but they're getting much worse. The therapist I'm speaking too suggests that he may have ADHD. He's not an overly active kid, but she says his impulsivity and frustrations make her think we should get a psych eval.

What do I do next? We're so tired, have other kids who need our attention, and we have aging parents. We're almost completely emotionally maxed out and just want our lives to be back to normally with a son who we're not stressed about taking out in public.