Reply to The One That Got Away Passed Away

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Long story short - he was the love of my life and without a doubt 'the one,' but I couldn't be with him because of so, so many circumstances. I was young (20-ish) when we met and we had a whirlwind but enduring romance for the few years it lasted. I am decades older now. Found out recently that he passed away some months ago. The death notice indicates a partner by first name only. I want reach out to thank her for loving him and to share with her that we have a common bond. Have no clue if this is even possible given only a first name at a great distance away with virtually no internet footprint. I am heartbroken. But I don't understand why. For someone who hasn't been in my life in many, many, many years? Mourning what I secretly hoped could have been? For the possibility that one day our paths may have again crossed? Because it drives home the realization that time is short? Because he really was the one that got away? I am surprised at my reaction and cannot lift the funk this news has left me in. Can anyone relate or have words of wisdom to share?[/quote]

“To thank her for…”
No no no…
This isn’t about you, dear one.
She is grieving the loss of her soul mate and life partner.
You are grieving your own loss of what could have been….but wasn’t—all over again.
But it isnt a shared bond.

I’m sorry for your feelings of loss, but to insert yourself into her grief out of some delusion that you are both experiencing this in the same way is just too narcissistic for words. Please just play a sad song and cry and journal about it, but do not approach his widow with a story about how grateful you are that she loved your man when you couldn’t. Just….no.[/quote]

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