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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Everyone pays for their own, way before they die. Cemetery plot, perpetuity care, headstone, etc.  Unless you die suddenly, it's all paid for. [/quote]

Really? Not in most families I know. I have the added wrinkle of being international. I don't even know which country I want to be buried in! My childhood was spent moving from country to country with my father's job... :-)

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Similar for me. I wanted burial at sea, but where to have the cenotaph? Then I had a caboose baby with intractable seasickness, so now I must change to cremation.  Nevertheless, “pre arrangements” are much easier for those left behind. In my experience in the US, MC, UMC and UC have pre arranged or the estate pays. Lower income it often seems to fall to the family left behind. This is just my anecdatal experience.

OP, it sounds as if burial has been chosen but is it just the headstone they are asking you to pay for? You mention that the expense is not easy for you. If it is the headstone, then you can set aside money gradually. It doesn’t have to go up immediately. My condolences.

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