Reply to Do I HAVE to go visit and when?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hire a geriatric social worker or case manager to check in on them and you can facetime with her/him and facetime with your parents on a regular basis. Yes, go out and see your parents some, but you can decrease visits by hiring a professional. To be honest, the professional will be more efficient. The person has the training to know what is going on what is needed and is usually much better at convincing elderly to allow help, etc.

I totally disagree with the whole "you might resent the time you spend with your mom, but you won't regret it." I regret it. It did a lot of damage to my physical and mental health. I wish I had hired a professional much sooner and I am still dealing with serious health issues.  I think I could still have loving feelings toward her despite her terrible behavior if I had stepped back sooner and allowed the professionals to take over everything.[/quote]

Wanted to add, you are in control here. They made the decision not to move and not plan more. They don't get to dictate how you help. You don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. Figure out your boundaries. look into options. If you can't afford a geriatric manager, at least see if APS can check on them on a regular basis or when concerns arise.[/quote]

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