Reply to Are your adult children grateful for their trust funds?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How much are you distributing to them each year?

I'm an adult child (late 30s) with a trust fund and I wrestle with this myself. I think of generational wealth as having three levels of benefit. Level one is freedom from worry about job loss, car repairs, unexpected expenses, etc. You have a large enough safety net you don't worry about the financial problems most everyone else does. Level two is the freedom to decouple where you live and how you spend your time from working for a living wage. Maybe you move to Jackson Hole and live an adventurous life without working. Or you work for a nonprofit whose mission you believe in. Level three is removing money as a limiting factor for how you spend your time. I think this is what many people think of when they think of trust fund kids - like oh the Alps are getting some great snow, let's fly out to Zermatt tomorrow and enjoy it! See also: the billionaire travel circuit.

We're firmly in level one. We don't have to worry about losing our jobs, car repairs, not making mortgage payments, etc. And since money is a primary stressor in people's lives this is [i]huge[/i] and I try to be grateful for it every day. However. My parents are the classic midwesterners with protestant work ethics and all. So while the money is there for us to enjoy a level two lifestyle they've made it clear they want us all to be working full time and, so far, in jobs that can support our lifestyles. And on one hand I understand that impulse but on the other...man. I only live in the DC area for work and I hate living here. I believe strongly that you can give back to society in other ways and still live a happy, fulfilling life. And even within the context of living here there are things I would spend more money on but feel like we can't afford it (household cleaners, more landscaping/yard work, etc).

At the end of the day I remind myself that it's their money and they could give it all away to the circus if they want. I focus on how fortunate I am and try to live in that space but yeah, sometimes I do feel something like resentment sneaking in. That my parent's want to pass their money down to their children but at the same time I don't have access to it now to make different choices in my life can be frustrating.

Also, I didn't start having transparent conversations around family finances with my dad until I was in my mid-30s. My two (younger) siblings still don't have a clear picture of where things stand. Our parents paid our way through college and made sure we had a reliable car at graduation but we've only started getting larger outlays of money for things like downpayments in the last couple years and this year will be our first receiving small recurring trust distributions. I'm always curious about how other families handle things though - so are you distributing enough money for them to not work and live wherever they want? Are they aware of how much money is in their trust(s)? [/quote]

OTOH, some of us want our kids to see that money now.  We do (and will continue) to gift our kids $$ to "make their life easier".  In a heartbeat I'd give you (if you were my kid) the money to get out of DC and get a job somewhere you want to live.  Life is too short to work and live somewhere you don't want to be.  However, like your parents we still require the kids to have full time jobs and career goals.  They just know there is the Level 1 fall backs so they don't have to stress about finances.  So far both kids are well adjusted adults, fiscally frugal and saving a ton.  It helps that most of their friends are recent college grads with loans and car payments so they don't want to take fancy trips/etc.

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