Anonymous wrote:I'll take "Problems only the 1% worry about" for $1000, Alex.

Anonymous wrote:How much are you distributing to them each year?

I'm an adult child (late 30s) with a trust fund and I wrestle with this myself. I think of generational wealth as having three levels of benefit. Level one is freedom from worry about job loss, car repairs, unexpected expenses, etc. You have a large enough safety net you don't worry about the financial problems most everyone else does. Level two is the freedom to decouple where you live and how you spend your time from working for a living wage. Maybe you move to Jackson Hole and live an adventurous life without working. Or you work for a nonprofit whose mission you believe in. Level three is removing money as a limiting factor for how you spend your time. I think this is what many people think of when they think of trust fund kids - like oh the Alps are getting some great snow, let's fly out to Zermatt tomorrow and enjoy it! See also: the billionaire travel circuit.

We're firmly in level one. We don't have to worry about losing our jobs, car repairs, not making mortgage payments, etc. And since money is a primary stressor in people's lives this is huge and I try to be grateful for it every day. However. My parents are the classic midwesterners with protestant work ethics and all. So while the money is there for us to enjoy a level two lifestyle they've made it clear they want us all to be working full time and, so far, in jobs that can support our lifestyles. And on one hand I understand that impulse but on the other...man. I only live in the DC area for work and I hate living here. I believe strongly that you can give back to society in other ways and still live a happy, fulfilling life. And even within the context of living here there are things I would spend more money on but feel like we can't afford it (household cleaners, more landscaping/yard work, etc).

At the end of the day I remind myself that it's their money and they could give it all away to the circus if they want. I focus on how fortunate I am and try to live in that space but yeah, sometimes I do feel something like resentment sneaking in. That my parent's want to pass their money down to their children but at the same time I don't have access to it now to make different choices in my life can be frustrating.

Also, I didn't start having transparent conversations around family finances with my dad until I was in my mid-30s. My two (younger) siblings still don't have a clear picture of where things stand. Our parents paid our way through college and made sure we had a reliable car at graduation but we've only started getting larger outlays of money for things like downpayments in the last couple years and this year will be our first receiving small recurring trust distributions. I'm always curious about how other families handle things though - so are you distributing enough money for them to not work and live wherever they want? Are they aware of how much money is in their trust(s)?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have others found that their (adult) children appear unappreciative of the trusts you have established for them? While they will receive more one day when my spouse and I pass away (hopefully not for many years!), they each have very substantial trusts that more than cover each of their needs every year, and then some. We made a conscious decision that giving unfettered access to tens of millions of dollars for each of our children would not be the right decision for our family; yet it feels as though the lack of personal control over this money has made them take it for granted as if it were not actually "given" to them.

Although it seems counterintuitive, does the lack of personal control over funds in a trust ultimately make your adult children less appreciative with money, and therefore less responsible? Or is this a phase they will grow out of? (They are all still in their twenties.)

You’re putting strings on the money so they probably don’t appreciate it as much as if you’d trust them to use it as they see fit. It’s there, great, but anything with strings attached doesn’t actually seem like a gift.

Anonymous wrote:You raised your kids to be ungrateful. I know plenty of families living off accumulated wealth of prior generations that are perfectly humble and grateful people.

Anonymous wrote:Have others found that their (adult) children appear unappreciative of the trusts you have established for them? While they will receive more one day when my spouse and I pass away (hopefully not for many years!), they each have very substantial trusts that more than cover each of their needs every year, and then some. We made a conscious decision that giving unfettered access to tens of millions of dollars for each of our children would not be the right decision for our family; yet it feels as though the lack of personal control over this money has made them take it for granted as if it were not actually "given" to them.

Although it seems counterintuitive, does the lack of personal control over funds in a trust ultimately make your adult children less appreciative with money, and therefore less responsible? Or is this a phase they will grow out of? (They are all still in their twenties.)