Reply to Sibling just doesn’t care

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[quote=Anonymous]I have one sibling who is unmarried, no kids, no pets, no partner, same job 20 plus years and had been living on the same coast (2 hr drive) from my mother. I had to move her across the country because he was unwilling to do anything between twice yearly visit for a half day. (Mom has alzheimers). Now he calls approximately every 2 months and chats for 15 minutes.

He is a 10 min drive from our dad, and similarly does nothing. Dad, who has parkinsons, is married but even his wife can't do it all (she's 80 as well). Meanwhile, I am juggling family, kids, job with travel, spouse who also is caring for his mom, and I coordinate all my mom's care, do all her finances, and am with her 3x/week usually either to the doctor or dropping by after work or taking her out for something. I even manage her rental property from afar. I honestly can't do anything for my dad, I'm too stretched thin, and he's too far.

The thing is my sibling is on the spectrum, its not even really coming from a place of laziness or self-centeredness, its that he really has never understood that other people have needs and part of being in a relationship and caring about someone is doing things for them. He's also highly stressed by any emotional demands, so is more than happy to abdicate it all to me. Of course, my mother complains that she never sees the grandkids (my kids) and she'll call me and tell me she's lonely/bored/etc, and expect me to spend even more time with her, but as for my brother "oh he's so busy." I'm like...with what?!!! [/quote]

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