Reply to School Strategies for 2E child with ADHD-Inattentive

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I wanted to share an update as I think it may be helpful to others.

Quick recap: We were meeting with the school for the first time to discuss a 504 for DS. School ends in two weeks and DS starts 6th grade in a new school, same district. Just got the neuropsych findings a few weeks back, but not the final report.

The 504 meeting was productive. In one hour, the administrator, two teachers, DH, and I crafted a 504. With the ADHD diagnosis, the school agreed that a 504 was warranted, no discussion needed. We brainstormed, discussing DS's needs, and added to the 504 as appropriate. We got no pushback on anything. After one hour of work, we have a 504 that we can take to middle school. We're waiting for the final neuropsych report and then will request a meeting with the middle school with report and the 504. As I'm new to all this, I don't know how unusual it is for the process to go so swimmingly. We were going to be happy with a letter from the school documenting the accommodations. This is better.

[b]The lesson learned: It can be productive to request a 504 when your about to transition to a different school for two reasons: (1) The teachers know your child and their needs; and (2) The teachers won't have to implement anything as your child is about to move to a different school, meaning they may be more flexible about adding accommodations.[/b][/quote]

Middle school was a big leap for our 2e son and the above all sounds helpful, esp already working with executive functioningl. I'd also spend some time talking to him directly about his diagnosis and accommodations, so that he may advocate at school. Our son's middle school pushes self advocacy (a little too much for us) and he's really had to step up and learn to say "no I cannot do that" or "I actually do need to sit in this exact chair to hear you, thanks." We hammer into him that his accommodations aren't excuses, so he cannot in fact use them to go to the restroom to meet his buddies and exchange takis and cheetos, but he can carry his backpack all day, because he needs to. His therapist has been helpful with this.

If the school doesn't reach out, after about the first 90 days, I'd ask for a review of the 504 to make sure that he's in a good place with it. In the 6th grade, our son was included in some of those meetings and that helped a lot. We actually learned that two teachers just never received his info on their list of students with accommodations.

Finally, you will run into some teachers and admins who, whether it's from being overworked, understaffed, or just bias, don't take the time to accommodate 2e students. If the student is getting whatever version of a passing grade, then all is a'okay. Don't accept that. 6th grade is where you start to see truly bad decisions from your kids, like things that can follow them into the future. My son has been dinged with some behavior things that were 50% accommodations not being followed and 50% his own lack of impulse control. We can and do work on strategies for impulse control, but he does need to be challenged academically and also assisted in not just passing and that's not something we can do a lot about at home. When we fall back to just passing, the behavior issues pop.

Good luck on all of this. I thought that middle school would mean I could step back and that was wrong. You're already way ahead of the curve. [/quote]
This is massively helpful, thank you for sharing your experiences. Even the takis and cheetos bit (and if they're flaming hot, all the better).

We are concerned that he will use the accommodations to work the system. But his teachers and parents think that he just doesn't have the ability to show what he knows on a written, timed test. So the 504 has extended time, which he's never had. Are you've done, we'll make sure he understands what's up.

DS is a pleaser, which is great from an adults/school perspective. But he also does things "for no reason," and I could see that becoming more of a problem in middle school.

We've been working on his independence for years, and he's able to get out of the house close to on time with everything he needs for the day 95% of the time. And he has dry erase boards to plan his schedule for the next week every Saturday morning. He does schoolwork over the weekend so that he's not scrambling on a Thursday night. So we already have some processes in place that are working well. The challenge is going to come from having five classes, grades for the first time, and a much larger homework load. Homework can take him much longer than it would take other kids, and it's extra hard after a long school day.

We are going to talk to him about self-advocacy this summer. Other than focusing on executive functioning and things like time blindness, we haven't discussed his challenges with him. We're still undecided about whether to share a label (ADHD) versus speaking about his specific talents and challenges.

THANK YOU.

(And I do know the difference between "your" and "you're." Just too much juggling. And I'm sure there are similar typos in the above . . . my apologies.)
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