Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I wanted to share an update as I think it may be helpful to others.

Quick recap: We were meeting with the school for the first time to discuss a 504 for DS. School ends in two weeks and DS starts 6th grade in a new school, same district. Just got the neuropsych findings a few weeks back, but not the final report.

The 504 meeting was productive. In one hour, the administrator, two teachers, DH, and I crafted a 504. With the ADHD diagnosis, the school agreed that a 504 was warranted, no discussion needed. We brainstormed, discussing DS's needs, and added to the 504 as appropriate. We got no pushback on anything. After one hour of work, we have a 504 that we can take to middle school. We're waiting for the final neuropsych report and then will request a meeting with the middle school with report and the 504. As I'm new to all this, I don't know how unusual it is for the process to go so swimmingly. We were going to be happy with a letter from the school documenting the accommodations. This is better.

The lesson learned: It can be productive to request a 504 when your about to transition to a different school for two reasons: (1) The teachers know your child and their needs; and (2) The teachers won't have to implement anything as your child is about to move to a different school, meaning they may be more flexible about adding accommodations.

Middle school was a big leap for our 2e son and the above all sounds helpful, esp already working with executive functioningl. I'd also spend some time talking to him directly about his diagnosis and accommodations, so that he may advocate at school. Our son's middle school pushes self advocacy (a little too much for us) and he's really had to step up and learn to say "no I cannot do that" or "I actually do need to sit in this exact chair to hear you, thanks." We hammer into him that his accommodations aren't excuses, so he cannot in fact use them to go to the restroom to meet his buddies and exchange takis and cheetos, but he can carry his backpack all day, because he needs to. His therapist has been helpful with this.

If the school doesn't reach out, after about the first 90 days, I'd ask for a review of the 504 to make sure that he's in a good place with it. In the 6th grade, our son was included in some of those meetings and that helped a lot. We actually learned that two teachers just never received his info on their list of students with accommodations.

Finally, you will run into some teachers and admins who, whether it's from being overworked, understaffed, or just bias, don't take the time to accommodate 2e students. If the student is getting whatever version of a passing grade, then all is a'okay. Don't accept that. 6th grade is where you start to see truly bad decisions from your kids, like things that can follow them into the future. My son has been dinged with some behavior things that were 50% accommodations not being followed and 50% his own lack of impulse control. We can and do work on strategies for impulse control, but he does need to be challenged academically and also assisted in not just passing and that's not something we can do a lot about at home. When we fall back to just passing, the behavior issues pop.

Good luck on all of this. I thought that middle school would mean I could step back and that was wrong. You're already way ahead of the curve.

This is massively helpful, thank you for sharing your experiences. Even the takis and cheetos bit (and if they're flaming hot, all the better).

We are concerned that he will use the accommodations to work the system. But his teachers and parents think that he just doesn't have the ability to show what he knows on a written, timed test. So the 504 has extended time, which he's never had. Are you've done, we'll make sure he understands what's up.

DS is a pleaser, which is great from an adults/school perspective. But he also does things "for no reason," and I could see that becoming more of a problem in middle school.

We've been working on his independence for years, and he's able to get out of the house close to on time with everything he needs for the day 95% of the time. And he has dry erase boards to plan his schedule for the next week every Saturday morning. He does schoolwork over the weekend so that he's not scrambling on a Thursday night. So we already have some processes in place that are working well. The challenge is going to come from having five classes, grades for the first time, and a much larger homework load. Homework can take him much longer than it would take other kids, and it's extra hard after a long school day.

We are going to talk to him about self-advocacy this summer. Other than focusing on executive functioning and things like time blindness, we haven't discussed his challenges with him. We're still undecided about whether to share a label (ADHD) versus speaking about his specific talents and challenges.

THANK YOU.

(And I do know the difference between "your" and "you're." Just too much juggling. And I'm sure there are similar typos in the above . . . my apologies.)

My experience is getting things written in the IEP is not the problem; actually getting them to execute on it is the hard part.

It’s wonderful the 504 meeting went well. But I would stay alert and aware of whether the teachers are provifding the accommodations. Don’t assume it will happen.

Special education teacher here. You definitely want to email his new teachers individually and mention his plan, so he doesn’t get lost in the shuffle. I would get a writing tutor this summer who is well-versed in LD. Make sure he gets plenty of sleep during the school year and limit the screens. Good luck! And make sure he knows what his accommodations are and how to use or ask for them.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I wanted to share an update as I think it may be helpful to others.

Quick recap: We were meeting with the school for the first time to discuss a 504 for DS. School ends in two weeks and DS starts 6th grade in a new school, same district. Just got the neuropsych findings a few weeks back, but not the final report.

The 504 meeting was productive. In one hour, the administrator, two teachers, DH, and I crafted a 504. With the ADHD diagnosis, the school agreed that a 504 was warranted, no discussion needed. We brainstormed, discussing DS's needs, and added to the 504 as appropriate. We got no pushback on anything. After one hour of work, we have a 504 that we can take to middle school. We're waiting for the final neuropsych report and then will request a meeting with the middle school with report and the 504. As I'm new to all this, I don't know how unusual it is for the process to go so swimmingly. We were going to be happy with a letter from the school documenting the accommodations. This is better.

The lesson learned: It can be productive to request a 504 when your about to transition to a different school for two reasons: (1) The teachers know your child and their needs; and (2) The teachers won't have to implement anything as your child is about to move to a different school, meaning they may be more flexible about adding accommodations.

Middle school was a big leap for our 2e son and the above all sounds helpful, esp already working with executive functioningl. I'd also spend some time talking to him directly about his diagnosis and accommodations, so that he may advocate at school. Our son's middle school pushes self advocacy (a little too much for us) and he's really had to step up and learn to say "no I cannot do that" or "I actually do need to sit in this exact chair to hear you, thanks." We hammer into him that his accommodations aren't excuses, so he cannot in fact use them to go to the restroom to meet his buddies and exchange takis and cheetos, but he can carry his backpack all day, because he needs to. His therapist has been helpful with this.

If the school doesn't reach out, after about the first 90 days, I'd ask for a review of the 504 to make sure that he's in a good place with it. In the 6th grade, our son was included in some of those meetings and that helped a lot. We actually learned that two teachers just never received his info on their list of students with accommodations.

Finally, you will run into some teachers and admins who, whether it's from being overworked, understaffed, or just bias, don't take the time to accommodate 2e students. If the student is getting whatever version of a passing grade, then all is a'okay. Don't accept that. 6th grade is where you start to see truly bad decisions from your kids, like things that can follow them into the future. My son has been dinged with some behavior things that were 50% accommodations not being followed and 50% his own lack of impulse control. We can and do work on strategies for impulse control, but he does need to be challenged academically and also assisted in not just passing and that's not something we can do a lot about at home. When we fall back to just passing, the behavior issues pop.

Good luck on all of this. I thought that middle school would mean I could step back and that was wrong. You're already way ahead of the curve.

OP here. I wanted to share an update as I think it may be helpful to others.

Quick recap: We were meeting with the school for the first time to discuss a 504 for DS. School ends in two weeks and DS starts 6th grade in a new school, same district. Just got the neuropsych findings a few weeks back, but not the final report.

The 504 meeting was productive. In one hour, the administrator, two teachers, DH, and I crafted a 504. With the ADHD diagnosis, the school agreed that a 504 was warranted, no discussion needed. We brainstormed, discussing DS's needs, and added to the 504 as appropriate. We got no pushback on anything. After one hour of work, we have a 504 that we can take to middle school. We're waiting for the final neuropsych report and then will request a meeting with the middle school with report and the 504. As I'm new to all this, I don't know how unusual it is for the process to go so swimmingly. We were going to be happy with a letter from the school documenting the accommodations. This is better.

The lesson learned: It can be productive to request a 504 when your about to transition to a different school for two reasons: (1) The teachers know your child and their needs; and (2) The teachers won't have to implement anything as your child is about to move to a different school, meaning they may be more flexible about adding accommodations.

I think you’re right to be preparing for a big transition to middle school - where manageable issues sometimes become just, idk, more difficult. It might be good to find a sport, hobby, anything, outside of school where he can relax and have fun.

Anonymous wrote:Will your kids current teacher be involved over the summer in developing the IEP or 504? If not, you might ask them to write up a list of accommodations or supports they have been using. Something written you can share with the team would be better than you orally relying what the teacher said.

Before the meetings, I would get clear in your own mind about what your top priorities are. Evaluators tend to throw in every little recommendation, but some will be more important than others.

Listen and ask a lot of questions and be open to what the school says. It might make sense to have an informational meeting with a counselor at the middle school if you have questions about how things are going to be structured.

Finally, when you get the schedule right before school starts, email an introduction to your kid. Highlight any accommodations you think will be key. For example, my kid has anxiety about being put on the spot and dyslexia so I asked that they not ask him to read out loud to the class, unless he explicitly volunteered. I also volunteered that if he’s getting distracted with his device in class, we will impose consequences at home if the let us know.

We also got our kid into the school as often as possible - every tour for incoming students, community events, etc so he was comfortable with the building.

Good stuff, thank you. We are meeting with the current school this week, with the main goal of documenting all the informal accommodations and, to the extent possible, the recommendations from the gifted ELA teacher who has been working with DS for 2+ years. We expect the final neuropsych report in coming weeks (we only have a short letter with assessment scores ATM), which we will share with the middle school and request a meeting ASAP. In case there are classes/supports that can be worked into his schedule, we want to request those before schedules are set.

We didn't ask the 3-5 school about supports, and I think that was a mistake. The school offered SEL supports without us asking, and some were wonderful for DS. But we never asked what else was available. We will do that with middle school, in the hopes that they will be forthcoming about what they offer kids. And that may also provide a roadmap about whether a 504 is adequate or if we need to go the IEP route.

I like the suggestion of reaching out to the teachers. I may specifically ask them to let me know if DS is unable to complete the classroom work in time. If it's an issue and we can flag that early on, that may open up more accommodations, like extra time and a quiet(er) place for tests.

The good news is that DS is a happy kid with a handful of great friends. He is eager to please, loves chatting with adults, and is generally pretty flexible. I'm hoping his good outlook and energy won't be damaged by the academic demands and social complexities of middle school.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you aren't local, but, if you are, state the school district so people can help with specific information about programs that may be helpful for your child. Other helpful information: What are your kid's grades like? Are they on grade level in all subjects?

Correct - we are in a midwestern public school. No grades - just "developing," "meeting," and "exceeding." And he gets a mix. He's been in the gifted ELA class, which truly is a separate, accelerated program. And advanced math, which is pretty much a joke. I bet the math teacher would say he's fine. The ELA teacher would point out where he's behind.

Anonymous wrote:The psychologist seems like he may be recommending the kitchen sink when it may not be clearly warranted. It sounds like your DC has been doing well with informal supports from the teacher. You can ask for a 504 or IEP but you may not get one if there's no need for it.

DS is doing okay. There are no grades in 5th, so when he gets a 69% on a math test, we just move on. His written work product is really poor. But he can manage spelling/vocab tests fine. He's not getting perfect scores, but he can do the work, even if he's the slowest in the class.

This one particular ELA teacher has been propping him up, knowing he's 2E. I don't know that if there were actual grades that he would be doing well.

Yes, the psychologist is suggesting a lot. He's also not prioritizing things like working on DS's core and motor skills, which are very poor and impacting his ability to sit still and complete written work. But we're starting pretty low, with only informal classroom accommodations and once weekly executive functioning coaching.

Will your kids current teacher be involved over the summer in developing the IEP or 504? If not, you might ask them to write up a list of accommodations or supports they have been using. Something written you can share with the team would be better than you orally relying what the teacher said.

Before the meetings, I would get clear in your own mind about what your top priorities are. Evaluators tend to throw in every little recommendation, but some will be more important than others.

Listen and ask a lot of questions and be open to what the school says. It might make sense to have an informational meeting with a counselor at the middle school if you have questions about how things are going to be structured.

Finally, when you get the schedule right before school starts, email an introduction to your kid. Highlight any accommodations you think will be key. For example, my kid has anxiety about being put on the spot and dyslexia so I asked that they not ask him to read out loud to the class, unless he explicitly volunteered. I also volunteered that if he’s getting distracted with his device in class, we will impose consequences at home if the let us know.

We also got our kid into the school as often as possible - every tour for incoming students, community events, etc so he was comfortable with the building.

It sounds like you aren't local, but, if you are, state the school district so people can help with specific information about programs that may be helpful for your child. Other helpful information: What are your kid's grades like? Are they on grade level in all subjects?

The psychologist seems like he may be recommending the kitchen sink when it may not be clearly warranted. It sounds like your DC has been doing well with informal supports from the teacher. You can ask for a 504 or IEP but you may not get one if there's no need for it.

IEP and as said before yes.

In addition, looking back what I wish I'd asked about our 2e kid was, what can the school do and not do? Then you know better how to compensate. Also 2e is tricky for teachers due to the asynchronous development so messaging that loudly and offering help worked positively in our experience.

OP, if he has an SLD, I suggest advocating for an IEP. A 504 is accommodations. An SLD triggers the potential for special education instruction. If you are in MOCO by any chance, check into the GTLD program. If he had ASD too, I would suggest you look at Autism Connections in MOCO.
Best to you.

10yo DS is finishing 5th and will be at a new school for 6th (same district). It's a big school, with 250 kids/grade, and also seems to be a fairly well-resourced suburban public school and one that wants to do right by the kids.

I'd appreciate any suggestions for how to navigate this upcoming transition, specifically with the school administrations. Up until now, accommodations have been informal only. DS's gifted ELA teacher knows him well and has provided loads of informal accommodations. And we don't want to lose all that she has learned about teaching DS as we move schools, and things begin to get real, with grades and more timed tests.

We just redid DS's neuropsych and will soon meet with the current school to discuss how to document and share the current accommodations with the next school. We plan to request a 504 for the first time with the new school. What else should we be doing?

I won't bore you with all of DS's stats, but in case readers have similar kids, on the WISC-V his highest score is verbal comprehension at above the 99th percentile (139). And his lowest is processing speed at the 23rd percentile (89). Quite a gap.

In addition to ADHD, he was newly diagnosed with a Specific Learning Disorder in written expression. At the same time, the psychologist suggests acceleration and challenging DS.

So I have this creative kid with an exceptionally strong vocabulary. But he struggles to write three organized sentences. If his big brain quickly comes up with the correct answer, we're golden; but if he's not initially correct, it's hard to get there. And he makes careless mistakes. How can he succeed in a fast-paced classroom with bright kids when he doesn't have the skill set to complete the tasks?

The psychologist has made many recommendations, including writing supports and formalizing classroom accommodations. He also suggests SEL classes, including peer group work. DS has been in executive functioning classes for a few years. And we plan to talk to him this summer about his strengths and challenges so that he can hopefully learn to advocate for himself. The psychologist suggests holding off on meds, which we've yet to try, until we see how much he can function with additional supports in place.

This is our first rodeo talking to school administrators and social workers about accommodations and a 504. Any tips so that we can have accommodations in place at the start of the fall would be appreciated. And please flag anything we should we wary of.

THANK YOU (And thank you for reading this far. The first draft was much longer. )