Reply to The end of a long journey--so worth it!

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m almost done with my second and last round. I truly believe the college admissions process can be a powerful and positive force in a kid’s life. It can motivate kids to reach out of their comfort zone and try new things, it encourages initiative, it incentivizes kids to reflect upon who they are. It can also teach important lessons in taking risks, handling bumps in the road and disappointment.

I also think it can be toxic and damage kids’ feelings of self worth and set the seeds for mental health problems later.

The process can be a great one for any kid if parents prioritize the process over results, respect who their kids are and not obsess about securing some particular outcome. It’s about raising a healthy and productive human. But if the result is the only focus it can be incredibly damaging regardless of what school the kid gets into. [/quote]

Well put! We focused on creating a college list ranging from 5% acceptance rate to 80+% acceptance rates, but, more importantly, only put colleges on the list she was excited about and could see herself at. The very first acceptance that came in was from a T150 ranked out-of-state university, the lowest ranked one on her list--and she was happy about it, knowing she was in somewhere she would like. As each acceptance came in beyond that, she was satisfied and delighted. She did end up getting into her top choice and is over-the-moon, but recognizes that she would have been very happy at any of the others. I think that is key to supporting this journey as a parent--helping kids understand that college is what you make of it and selectivity is not always indicative of the right "fit."  The result should be delightful because expectations should be set that any college on the list is a win.[/quote]

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