Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m almost done with my second and last round. I truly believe the college admissions process can be a powerful and positive force in a kid’s life. It can motivate kids to reach out of their comfort zone and try new things, it encourages initiative, it incentivizes kids to reflect upon who they are. It can also teach important lessons in taking risks, handling bumps in the road and disappointment.

I also think it can be toxic and damage kids’ feelings of self worth and set the seeds for mental health problems later.

The process can be a great one for any kid if parents prioritize the process over results, respect who their kids are and not obsess about securing some particular outcome. It’s about raising a healthy and productive human. But if the result is the only focus it can be incredibly damaging regardless of what school the kid gets into.

Well put! We focused on creating a college list ranging from 5% acceptance rate to 80+% acceptance rates, but, more importantly, only put colleges on the list she was excited about and could see herself at. The very first acceptance that came in was from a T150 ranked out-of-state university, the lowest ranked one on her list--and she was happy about it, knowing she was in somewhere she would like. As each acceptance came in beyond that, she was satisfied and delighted. She did end up getting into her top choice and is over-the-moon, but recognizes that she would have been very happy at any of the others. I think that is key to supporting this journey as a parent--helping kids understand that college is what you make of it and selectivity is not always indicative of the right "fit." The result should be delightful because expectations should be set that any college on the list is a win.

Similar experience here. Was also very thankful to have that over-the-moon acceptance early. Keeping it all up for RD apps would have been a struggle for my ADHD kid.

Mine had a similar timeline as OP, but did not do the RD apps early. Invested everything in 8 early apps (one rolling done in Sep), especially for ultra reach. Then worked on something good to update apps with by late Nov. Took a break during decisions but had research ready to go for RD apps (lots of supplements) and continued to invest in competitions, portfolio work, etc that would enrich RD apps. Was prepared to take 8 RD in batches , getting most fone over Christmas if needed. Very glad she did not do RD apps early. Would have been efforts unutilized and might have led to second guessing on choice of ED reach (though probably not). Still, I've found my ADHD kid needs more breaks and sleep than my non ADHD kid, so all the RD apps on top of early and school and intense activities would have just been too much.

Anonymous wrote:I’m almost done with my second and last round. I truly believe the college admissions process can be a powerful and positive force in a kid’s life. It can motivate kids to reach out of their comfort zone and try new things, it encourages initiative, it incentivizes kids to reflect upon who they are. It can also teach important lessons in taking risks, handling bumps in the road and disappointment.

I also think it can be toxic and damage kids’ feelings of self worth and set the seeds for mental health problems later.

The process can be a great one for any kid if parents prioritize the process over results, respect who their kids are and not obsess about securing some particular outcome. It’s about raising a healthy and productive human. But if the result is the only focus it can be incredibly damaging regardless of what school the kid gets into.

Well put! We focused on creating a college list ranging from 5% acceptance rate to 80+% acceptance rates, but, more importantly, only put colleges on the list she was excited about and could see herself at. The very first acceptance that came in was from a T150 ranked out-of-state university, the lowest ranked one on her list--and she was happy about it, knowing she was in somewhere she would like. As each acceptance came in beyond that, she was satisfied and delighted. She did end up getting into her top choice and is over-the-moon, but recognizes that she would have been very happy at any of the others. I think that is key to supporting this journey as a parent--helping kids understand that college is what you make of it and selectivity is not always indicative of the right "fit." The result should be delightful because expectations should be set that any college on the list is a win.

I’m almost done with my second and last round. I truly believe the college admissions process can be a powerful and positive force in a kid’s life. It can motivate kids to reach out of their comfort zone and try new things, it encourages initiative, it incentivizes kids to reflect upon who they are. It can also teach important lessons in taking risks, handling bumps in the road and disappointment.

I also think it can be toxic and damage kids’ feelings of self worth and set the seeds for mental health problems later.

The process can be a great one for any kid if parents prioritize the process over results, respect who their kids are and not obsess about securing some particular outcome. It’s about raising a healthy and productive human. But if the result is the only focus it can be incredibly damaging regardless of what school the kid gets into.

Sounds like your college journey went ideally - glad it worked out for you!

I have a college freshman and a rising 9th grader. Round two, starting now!

It feels like the college journey started long ago and, of course, really ramped up in the past two years. She did ACT prep the summer before junior year, ACT in the winter of junior year, spring break college tours in junior year, then worked on Common App essay and portfolio prep in the summer, supplementals and portfolio video recordings in the Fall, and had every application submitted by Thanksgiving of senior year so she could relax over the holidays. It was a slog and there were some tense moments, for sure. Those supplementals were a killer for her--phew! But she made a spreadsheet, kept herself organized and on track, and asked for my credit card when it came time to submit.

But...watching her eyes light up as she perused the website of her selected college, looked for classes she wanted to take, and started feeling the reality of going to college made it all worth it. She pictures herself there and is excited to go. I'm one proud Mama.