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[quote=Anonymous]If you were not the initiator and/or did not want to divorce, how long did it take for you to feel something close to normal again?

Of my divorced friends, all of them were the initiators and had an active, informed role in what happened.  I’m not saying they weren’t stressed and sad, but they weren’t shocked.  (Before anyone says I should have known, that’s probably true.  But I didn’t know and was absolutely stunned when he let me know on the way out the door.)

I’m in therapy.  I’m functional for my kids.  They don’t know what really happened because I’m not a jerk, but they do know I’m sad.  I work out.  I accept invitations when they come in.  But I don’t really know how to cope with all of the feelings all the time.  Everyone keeps telling me it will get better, but I feel so stuck.  My future is now totally uncertain and large chunks of my past were a lie.  When did the shame and rage and misery begin to abate for you?  Everyone is different, but just looking for a glimmer of hope.

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