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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What type of talk would you have related to the friendship?

My best friend of 25 years can sometimes be insensitive.  She's just very blunt.  Each time she's done it, I've told her her words are insensitive and I didn't like it.  She apologized and we moved on. [/quote]

This is a sign of a healthy friendship, because

1) you feel entitled to speak up when your friend's actions towards you hurt you
2) your friend listens to you with judgment or defensiveness, avoid a back and forth about whether it's fair for you to be hurt
3) your friend apologizes even if the offense was totally unintentional, recognizing the issue is not intent but effect
4) you accept her apology at face value and move on, recognizing that your friend obviously cares enough about you and your friendship to make the effort.

IME the kinds of "talks" OP is referring to involve a situation where one or both people lack the maturity for the above. One person bottles up resentment instead of vocalizing concerns, or vocalizes them in hurtful ways. Or the other friend is very insecure and responds to these conversations nicer s by trying to argue the point (you shouldn't feel that way, you're being too sensitive, actually that's not what happened, etc.). And so on.

A talk is fine, if both people are mature and genuinely care about each other. Many friendships lack these elements though.[/quote]

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