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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What if you call them by their given names? Not mom and dad. If they say they earned their right to call you what you dislike, you address them not as their child but as someone in a transactional relationship with them. [/quote]

I think this is a good approach.

Recently I told my parents that it bothers me that when they visit my home, they openly criticize and judge my home and family in ways I know they would NEVER do with anyone else, including other members of their family (their siblings and nieces and nephews). My mom, in particular, is unfailingly polite with everyone else, but she will walk into my house and start criticizing and complaining immediately.

My mom replied that they have "earned the right" to criticize like this because they are my parents and they raised me. And I said okay, well I've decided I've earned the right to do the same, after years of accepting it. Would you like me to start with your hair or your wardrobe? Dad's weight? What about your garden, which is a mess? Here, let me grab some paper, I will make a list of all your flaws so that I can review them with you in an organized manner.

My mom cottoned on immediately. My dad kind of blustered about it, but he has stopped complaining so much when they visit. They just had this idea that because they are my parents, they are entitled to nitpick and criticize me until their dying day, but the minute the tables were turned, they understood how incredibly annoying that is and how it makes you not want to spend time with that person anymore.

So I recommend this strategy. Start calling them by their first names, or even better, nickname versions of their first names that are demeaning or diminutive. Like if your dad's name is Charlies, start calling him Chuckles just to see how it goes.[/quote]

This. And please updates us on M+Ds response.  I’m chuckling at the thought of Chuckles.[/quote]

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