Reply to Please explain to me what a pick-me girl is

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[quote=Anonymous]I am so grateful for the term pick-me girl. Many years ago I had a friend who drove me absolutely up the wall and I just grew more and more resentful of her over time but it was so hard to pin down exactly what she was doing that was bothering me.

It was this. The reason it was hard to pick up on was because I was actually in a serious relationship at the time (with my now husband) and was not in competition with her for me. But she'd constantly use me as her foil to try and get men interested in her, which amounted to her frequently drawing comparisons with me in which she would "win" the comparison. And she did it with everyone -- men we worked with, guy friends, men at parties, even my boyfriend (which she would cast as her conspiratorially "teasing" me with him, and which thankfully he did not participate in). She even sometimes did it with women from whom she wanted more attention -- our director at work, some of the more popular women in our circle.

I feel like now if this happened, I'd be like "you're being a pick-me, stop. I don't exist to make you look good." But we didn't have this vocabulary for it then, and when I tried to explain the problem, she'd accuse me of being jealous. But I wasn't. I just didn't want to be her permanent example of someone she was better than.

So yeah, a pick me.[/quote]

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