Reply to Has anyone gotten a real apology from parents for abuse?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hitting with belts
Washing mouths out with soap
Kicking out of a car and making to walk miles home (no cell phones, dangerous area)
Driving drunk and we knew about it
The list goes on
Constant yelling and screaming

Some of these things still haunt me, still bother me. It’s like the better I do as a parent, the worse I feel as a human because I know I would not get the same treatment in the moment. When I do an especially good job not yelling, not EVER getting physical, when I stop and take an extra breath and am very calm and patient, [b]there’s this parallel me asking why I didn’t deserve better treatment. Why didn’t I deserve no hitting ever, no rage-outs, not ever driving drunk?[/b]

Has anyone ever asked for and actually gotten a real apology for abusive behavior? [/quote]

OP, the answer is that you did deserve better treatment, and the reason you didn't get it has nothing to do with you. I have never met you and yet I am 100% sure of this.

Try to reframe your parenting now as what you also deserved. Tell yourself that and try to really believe it.

Also, I know it seems cliche but consider therapy. You don't need an apology from your abuser to heal. [/quote]

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