Reply to Eldercare, sadness and money

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Eldercare, sadness and money"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Get a grip on yourself, OP. You and your husband are not responsible for your in-laws' comfort in their waning years.

There are government agencies that help keep seniors keep body and soul together - call their county's senior helpline and ask what services are available for your FIL and MIL. It could be meals on wheels, or something else. When they cannot live independently, they can go into a Medicaid facility.

For the funeral, do your due diligence on the VA option. Make all the calls. Pitch in whatever is needed for a minimalist funeral. The dead won't care, and the living can't afford fancy, so minimal it is. If FIL and MIL can't afford to attend, they can't afford to attend.

There is no need to panic over the future. Your first duty is to your children. You will not cover basic costs for your in-laws. Period.

[/quote]

Agreed that this is the starting point. Time for DH to have a family financial meeting with his parents and get a clear picture of assets/income/ debts/expenses. They may be eligible for SNAP, energy assistance (called HEAP in some states, look up rules for their state). Only after they adjust their budget and access any programs they’re eligible for do you and your DH discuss whether and how much you want to/can contribute.[/quote]

They are in their early 70s. They live in a very nice building, are renting and still both work. The issue is they are irresponsible with savings and are paycheck to paycheck, so they seem like they are doing fine if you look at them from the outside, but they are not. A $300 plane ticket is a BIG deal for them. We tried to talk to them about all this years ago when we had to bail them out, gave them financial adviser info...they never went. They are like teenagers and refuse to listen. It's an extremely frustrating situation. Dh is an only so it is even more pressure.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics