Reply to Parent says they don’t want to be a burden but then won’t move to assisted living

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[quote=Anonymous]Do you know where they would move? With our parents, the four siblings and I had to know. First step is WE had to know what would work Two who were local, went and looked. Narrowed the choices down to two. Then, took Mom to choose and all siblings were anonymous - this is happening. Based on Mom's choice, it was happening - this date or that date. That's the move-in date. Move them in, clear out the house and sell it later.

Left Dad out of any decision since he had dementia. For him, we made sure the new apt was fully set-up with the biggest tv you've ever seen, turned to his favorite sports channel, and a comfy chair. This is what he was seeing when he walked in the first time. He was happy. It took a few days for him to realize he now lived in the place with the big tv.

Parents were nearing 90. We may have tricked Mom initially saying, "try it for the Winter." They were use to being snowbirds and changing homes during Winter months. But we definitely ALL applied pressure, a lot of pressure -- it was happening. And we were all putting up with their/her being unhappy with us. Mean too. You know what? Within 3 months, you would have thought is was their idea. A great idea. They were bragging to everyone who would listen about how responsible they had been and what a great idea it was :)[/quote]

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