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[quote=Anonymous]
1. I've derived great joy from being a very involved parent, OP. Parenting to me is not in opposition to taking care of myself. I have one child with special mental health needs, and one child with a serious medical diagnosis. We've lived some challenging times as a family.

2. You shouldn't conceive of eldercare in that vein either. You shouldn't take on too much of a role for in-laws, but your own parents' care shouldn't turn you into a puddle of misery either.

3. It seems you have a martyr complex. What is it that makes you happy, OP? I just put together a killer outfit to attend my teen's instrumental recital. My husband said I was the prettiest woman in the room. It brought me so much joy to hear her lovely performance, and we were all proud that her hard work is paying off. THIS is what makes me happy. I'm not putting off my happiness for a future day. I'm happy NOW.

So I think your mindset is all wrong, OP. Please reframe your thinking (with a therapist if need be), otherwise you'll be on your deathbed before you know it, convinced you have wasted your life.
Perhaps you're depressed and need to consult a psychiatrist?
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