Reply to Do we all possess "Red Flags"

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[quote=Anonymous]Yes, absolutely.

My biggest red flags are that I come from a screwed up family with a lot of substance abuse and emotional immaturity. I was definitely very emotionally immature well into my 30s as well. But I was also fairly self-aware about it, started therapy in my 20s, and have always worked on that. But I'm sure my background turned off some people, as well as my own immaturity at times. I'm in my late 40s now and I can see more clearly how my inability to manage my own emotions and tendency to be very reactive back in my 20s likely impacted those relationships. I'm in a much more mature, centered place now, and I think had already made good strides by the time I married in my early 30s.

One of the things I value most in other people is the ability to recognize when you have made a mistake and a willingness to take steps to mitigate it or change behavior. Not everything is changeable, but just being open to the idea that you were wrong and could do better makes a person a better partner and it's easier to navigate relationships if both people have this ability. My DH had his own "red flags" but we both have this ability and I think it's served us very well.[/quote]

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