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[quote=Anonymous]This is a good time for you to make sure their estate planning is done. This is huge. If your father (god forbid) predeceases your mother without an AMD/POA in place (or a POA/AMD with only himself named) you will be in a bad situation. Since she is early in her diagnosis, she could still be capable of creating estate planning documents.

A lot of the talks you will need to have cannot be done on the phone. You have to go there and have long talks plus get a sense of how they are doing. Find out everything you can about their finances, and plan as if your father will pass and you will have to manage everything.

Also, at their ages moving is tough and scary. If you want them to move, you might have to be pushy and do a lot of heavy lifting yourself. "Dad, you and mom can't live here anymore, I am moving you to DC and I will take care of everything else" might be your best path forward. Your dad probably has his hands full, and your mom is no longer able (even if she seems like she is) to handle a big move or change.

That being said, having them move in with you will drastically change your life. It will be a ton of work and emotional load. Elder care in DC is extremely expensive. For the best memory care places, it is about $14k a month. Plus, you will be moving them away from what is familiar to them and support systems there which can hasten memory loss and also means you will have to be their entire support system. No one can say how fast your mom may progress. But you should assume at some point she will need constant supervision at your home or to be in a memory care place.

Make sure to read up on dementia. It is so much more than being "forgetful." The anxiety, anger, and agitation can also be features of the decline.

The big thing more than anything is their finances, though. Try to go through scenarios or consult a geriatric care manager to help. [/quote]

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