Reply to I’m genuinely mourning my snuggly little kid

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have to pick your time.  My 12 year will still have moments of wanting to be snuggly but it's not consistent.  Some nights I still lay on her bed with her and we chat and snuggle for 20 minutes.  Some nights she gives me dagger eyes for saying "goodnight."  I just read the room and take it when I can get it.  [/quote]

This is good advice. We do regular movie nights at home where we all pile onto the couch and that's a good time to get in some snuggles with a tween. We also do a family check in around bed time where we hang out and talk in DD's room for a few minutes and say goodnight, and if she's I the mood she'll let us pile onto the bed for some snuggles.

The key is to respect certain boundaries around physical touch at this age, especially in front of friends or regarding puberty (i.e. give them lots of space in the bathroom, when getting dressed, etc. -- more space even then you think is necessary, as they have a very heightened sense of vulnerability during this time). If you give them lots of room and back right off when they ask for it, I think it's easier to get a hug or an affectionate snuggle during appropriate (to them) times. I think parents who try to push the hugs and snuggles as their kids start to push them away a bit in late elementary kind of shoot themselves in the foot because then their kids don't trust them to respect boundaries and will push them away even more.[/quote]

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