I also mourned by affectionate daughter, who became a surly, don't-touch-me, don't-talk-to me 13 year old. She's 18 now, and we're talking and even occasionally hugging. Someone said, "We lose our children at 13, and get them back at 20." (Actual ages may vary).

I can totally commiserate. My 13 year old was my Velcro child—super snuggly, wanted me to lay in bed with her every night—until about 11.5. Now she tries to get me to leave her room as soon as possible. She’s way less prickly than her older sister though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a cute dog. Mine follows me everywhere and loves to snuggle. He is sleeping on my lap right now.

I’m terribly allergic, but still considering!

My non-allergenic dog is a snuggler, too. It was no coincidence that I got him the first year both my kids were teens.

Anonymous wrote:Oh no! When did this happen? DS is 11 and I thought I was out of the woods.

My 14 year old son still wants a hug at bed time and hugs me often. This is not every kid, I don't think. When he was in peak puberty (12-13 for him) he was a bit less receptive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a cute dog. Mine follows me everywhere and loves to snuggle. He is sleeping on my lap right now.

I’m terribly allergic, but still considering!

Get a 'something'doodle; they're hypoallergenic.

Oh no! When did this happen? DS is 11 and I thought I was out of the woods.

Anonymous wrote:You have to pick your time. My 12 year will still have moments of wanting to be snuggly but it's not consistent. Some nights I still lay on her bed with her and we chat and snuggle for 20 minutes. Some nights she gives me dagger eyes for saying "goodnight." I just read the room and take it when I can get it.

This is good advice. We do regular movie nights at home where we all pile onto the couch and that's a good time to get in some snuggles with a tween. We also do a family check in around bed time where we hang out and talk in DD's room for a few minutes and say goodnight, and if she's I the mood she'll let us pile onto the bed for some snuggles.

The key is to respect certain boundaries around physical touch at this age, especially in front of friends or regarding puberty (i.e. give them lots of space in the bathroom, when getting dressed, etc. -- more space even then you think is necessary, as they have a very heightened sense of vulnerability during this time). If you give them lots of room and back right off when they ask for it, I think it's easier to get a hug or an affectionate snuggle during appropriate (to them) times. I think parents who try to push the hugs and snuggles as their kids start to push them away a bit in late elementary kind of shoot themselves in the foot because then their kids don't trust them to respect boundaries and will push them away even more.

I’m sorry, it’s tough. My DD used to climb in the bed with me every morning and want snuggles. Now she can’t stand anything I say or do and apparently when she lived for college she’s “never coming back” (depending on the day).

You have to pick your time. My 12 year will still have moments of wanting to be snuggly but its not consistent. Some nights I still lay on her bed with her and we chat and snuggle for 20 minutes. Some nights she gives me dagger eyes for saying "goodnight." I just read the room and take it when I can get it.

My 6 foot+ teen boy still comes in for a daily hug and accepts hugs pretty happily. Do you try and you're rebuffed? They might come back around.

Wait til they are 18 and you know they are leaving for college soon...

Anonymous wrote:Get a cute dog. Mine follows me everywhere and loves to snuggle. He is sleeping on my lap right now.

We got a dog when DS turned 10 for this reason. DS still snuggles for now, but I have both and the dog will always be up for cuddling.

Anonymous wrote:Get a cute dog. Mine follows me everywhere and loves to snuggle. He is sleeping on my lap right now.

I’m terribly allergic, but still considering!

Get a cute dog. Mine follows me everywhere and loves to snuggle. He is sleeping on my lap right now.

No one warned me this would be so hard! I am really having a hard time coping with my DD13 not needing/wanting snuggles and hugs. I know this is normal, but of all the transitions this far, this one is the hardest! What wouldn’t do for a genuine hug! Can anyone commiserate?