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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are reasonable. But yes, this is a thing. I think there are several causes.

Societal expectations that "successful" people will marry and have kids still exists. So so parents of adults get it in their head that if their adult kids don't marry and have kids, they can't be successful, which means the parents aren't successful. So they pressure their kids to have kids in the same way they pressure then to get good grades, compete in sports, go into certain professions.

Some people also want a do-over. No parent gets their kids to adulthood without making mistakes, so some people crave grandchildren so they can do things differently. This one can be dicy because people who think this way sometimes forget that they aren't the parent and won't get to make any of the key choices. Doesn't stop them from trying!

Some people also get depressed after their kids are grown, because parenting gave them a sense of purpose for so long. They want that back, and grandkids feels like the easiest way. I have sympathy for this, even if it's not a good reason to try and force/pressure your adult kids to have kids.

There are probably others but these are the main reasons [/quote]

My MIL was a do-over grandparent and was very upfront about it. She was over the top and love bombed my kids (which was for the most part ok, we had a pretty good relationship). BUT this didn’t go over well whatsoever with my SIL who was pretty neglected by my MIL when she was growing up and put a HUGE wedge between my SIL and my DH, me and our kids. I felt very bad about it but I didn’t really blame my SIL for being upset watching her own mother fawn over my kids and be the kind of grandmother my SIL wishes she had been as a mother to her.

This caused my SIL to declare she didn’t want any kids, which made my MIL go even more bananas over my kids bc then they would be the only grandkids she would have. My MIL ended up dying suddenly and we discovered in her will that she left a substantial amount of money to both of my children which sent my SIL over the edge (but she didn’t contest it). Our relationship has never recovered. Some people are just blinded by their own needs. I still have serious empathy for my SIL. [/quote]

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